 Agent_Moldy: This week, on "Reporter Without a Clue": <back> "I will now attempt to get a word from the guy interviewing the celebrity..." |
 E_B_A: By the time Steve had gotten to his 42nd verse of "I'm A Little Teapot," Carol had located her handgun. |
 MrTim: "Eww! I said I liked circumsised men, not I want to see a man circumsise himself for me!" |
 amycamus: "Mommy! Mommy! Look how well my Magic Rocks are growing!" |
 Meldrick: "OK, I think we're a little too tight on that close-up, Mr. Letterman." |
 Angel_Noir: "So, you see the benefits of a penial implant." "Yes, I'll take two." "But, uh, it-" "Supersize me, damnit!" |
 E_B_A: "What are you doing honey?" "Nothing dear, just drinking a milkshake... mrph mwaph slurp..." "Are you SURE he's not faking his blindness?" "Who cares?" |
 JediClone: Stuffy 1850's gentlemen humped into unconciousness. All that and more on "Anne Of Green Doors" Next on You're Shittin Me Porn! |
 XTree: Danny Collins and his stable of grannies: Troutspam, Montana's youngest pimp. |
 Artanas: Chet thought it would be more fun to have a keg party actually inside of a keg. Police are still baffled. |
 Artanas: "Geoffrey!" "Hyuk, I wanna be a Toys-r-us kid!" *BLAM* *BLAM* *BLAM* "Die evil animal bastard!" |
 HanoverF: You know Macaulay Culkin hit on hard times when he started renting himself out as a ventriliquist dummy. |
 E_B_A: "Yes, Simba, you will be a mighty king one day." "Uh... Mr. Jones. You're getting your scripts confused." "Sorry. Luke. I am your-" "No." "This is CNN?" "No." |
 GuloGulo: "Look I tell ya! Nude pantyhose! A socket wrench! You people just don't get it do you!?" |
 Artanas: They were later fined $50 per stolen traffic cone |
 Artanas: The odd result of cross-breeding a human with a hamster. On the plus side, he can carry four quarter-pounders at a time in there. |
 GersonK: "Now look, you'd be fools to pass up a chance to get in on the gound floor of the biggest slice of swiss cheese in history. fools!" |
 Hayduke: Bobby? Your father thinks you've started smoking. |
 BDavey: Good evening, and welcome to "Dowsing in New Jersey"! (... I sense the plutonium is right here!) |
 Nocturnal_Walker: When threatened, Cher inflates her necksack! |
 YingYang: "You wanna tell that dumb son-of-a-bitch that these aren't train tracks?" |
 BuckFifty: George Carlin is the Fugitive... "Shit!" "GET HIM!" "Piss!" "HE'S OVER HERE!" "Fuck!" "OVER HERE!" "Cocksucker!" "BRING THE DOGS!" "Motherfucker..." |
 skratchpikl: "My name is Allegro Toyota. You killed my neighbor's brother's favorite goldfish! Prepare to defeat me in charades!" |
 cdevidal: "Look who Billy bludgeoned in school today!" |
 Cerg: "MMMPH MMMPHMMM!!!""Quiet Timmy! You're saving us a lot on airfare." |
 E_B_A: Tonight on a hilarious episode of that new sitcom, "Tumor Girl"... |
 darkknight07: Crap! I gotta remember: the styling gel's in the bottle to the left, the super glue's in the bottle to the right. |
 Dibbley: ...and here we see from the security camera the shadowy figures of E_B_A and Dibbley outside the home of the former Mr. Bean. |
 Artanas: Due to public demand Michael Flatly will now perform his popular impalement routine. |
 E_B_A: Strippers for Vampires: "Hey guys! She's takin' it off! Whoo hoo! We're gonna see some neck now! YEAH!" |
 Artanas: With her spider sense and agility, Janet Reno is mighty tough to beat. |
 Mr13: Meanwhile at Rick James' girlfriend's house... |
 E_B_A: Bill Gates on Jeopardy: "In seven days he created the entire universe." "Who am I Alex?" "Er- judges?" |
 E_B_A: Pat tired of Julia Sweeny and decided the quick fix was best... |
 HanoverF: I shall call him, Mini Kramer |
 keogh: "We now go live to the first manned mission to the sun. Commander Louden?" "I'm...AAARRRGGGHHH!" <POP!> <physhh> |