 Hippie: Dick stands proudly next to his "Once stood here for a real long time" honorary plaque. |
 E_B_A: "Look Bob... you can trust me. *squeaky voice* NO YOU CAN'T! Shut up! HE'S LYING! Shut up! HE'S GOT A GUN! Stupid hand!" |
 zombiewoof: Actually, we don't need the blinding white light, but the abductees seem to expect this sort of thing. |
 E_B_A: Bill was a brave man. So brave in fact that he decided to save some cash and perform his own vasectomy with strategicly placed V-clamps and a car battery. |
 Cerg: "That's it lady! You've insulted me for the last time! Now DRAW..." |
 E_B_A: Bill made bedsheets out of his own epidermis. |
 mrsarkastik: "Freeze! Don't move!" "Bitch! In case you haven't noticed, I've got a motherfuckin' vault door on my ass!" |
 Cerg: The Christmas lights, tired of being tangled year after year, finally get their revenge. |
 Artanas: "Greetings counselour! You ready for some justice?" "Dad! You're scaring me!" |
 Artanas: 'Poorly Researched Theater' presents Marc Singer in the Susan B Anthony story, in IMAX! |
 E_B_A: Luckily the camera man caught everything as he rode by on the Tilt-a-Whirl. |
 keogh: "The Big Book of Visitation by Entities of Ethereal and Supernatural Gestation by Dr. Seuss." |
 E_B_A: "Ahhh Mr. Wonka... about those Mexican children making candy in your factory..." "The OmmpahLoompahs?" "I'm not amused by your racial slurs." |
 Hippie: Stripping and varnishing did such a great job on the desk. Milt thinks it will do wonders for his own skin. |
 E_B_A: With the Frugal Gormet away on an errand, the pots and pans quickly begin their escape through the ceiling vent. |
 E_B_A: Richard Simmons rises early in the morning for another invigorating day of hawking scamful diet plans and snorting pure helium. |
 Mr13: "Hold it Hold it, we can make this look like an accident, he came in, slipped and shot himself in the head six times." |
 Occupant: o/' Cus they're Yothers... Identical Yothers, and you'll see... |
 Psyko: "Shit, my right tit fell off and rolled into the hay. Someone help me find it..." |
 Hippie: Bravehick. |
 E_B_A: "Simply hold your television in your urine stream..." |
 Artanas: "Greetings counselour! You ready for some justice?" "Dad! You're scaring me!" |
 E_B_A: "Woah! We're gonna get an A in Biology for sure!" "Now boys! Cut this out!" "Oh no, Dad! We haven't cut anything out yet! We're still working on the incision." |
 Hippie: Despite the fact the park was sometimes crowded, Ethel and Gerald found it the perfect place to take their stolen bumper cars for joyrides. |
 E_B_A: Three years ago, Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and Toto ventured into the woods near the Emrald City. A year later, their footage was found. |
 Occupant: Meatloaf's poorly received cover version of "Ironic" |
 E_B_A: Somehow, I kind of enjoy watching Brittney Spears re-enact scenes from "Pet Semetary." |
 NightTrain: Religious cults that never caught on--#7: "O mighty oncoming locomotive, how I worship thee..." THUD!!! |
 E_B_A: Ampleshields Lite... for those *light* days... |
 HanoverF: Billy thinks 'Maybe I should'nt have used that needle I found at the beach to pierce my tounge. I hope it grows back.' |
 Agent_Moldy: Hey moms, nothing says love more than when you send your kids off to school with a heapin' helpin' of "Grease -n- Granola" -- NEW! From Kraft! |
 Occupant: Ewoks in Levis? What the hell was Lucas smoking? |
 Generik: "Tell me... have you accepted Jesus into your heart as your personal savior?" "No... but I let him in the den occasionally as my personal massage therapist!" |
 E_B_A: "And I tell ya kids! Drugs are BAD BAD BAD! The mighty Mary J. Wanna can KILL! 'Course a 'lil heroin every now and then is fun and- WHAT!? WHAT!? I AM WHO I AM!" |
 Artanas: What exactly is Tiny Lister doing to that bedpost? Next on Sightings! |
 E_B_A: "Good news, sisters! We've figured a way to make the crucifixes vibrate!" *APPLAUSE* |