 E_B_A: For the single man, there's always Decal-Wife™. Just peel her off, stick her to the passanger window, and then relax, feeling simulated marital bliss. |
 Beedo: Don't look at me like that. Just cough. |
 E_B_A: "Hey son? Care for a doughnut?" "Oh God Dad! Get away from me! That's disgusting!" "What? You don't like sprinkles?" |
 E_B_A: Tony Todd portrays the athletic endevours of Stephen Hawkings, next on "Poorly-Researched Theatre..." |
 Hippie: Let's just go to school, man, c'mon. No one's gonna laugh at your braces. |
 E_B_A: "Look. I'm sorry I killed your dad. I got out of hand. It's just that in my opinion, two rocks does not beat one paper." |
 HanoverF: I don't think defecating counts as a verdict... we selected the wrong jury foreman. |
 Artanas: Well Clown, you sure look different in this light...*wocka* *chicka* *wocka* *chicka* |
 Jazzsoda: The other guests tried to strike up a conversation amongst themselves as Maxwell drove an imaginary moped around the room. |
 E_B_A: ...and just fine considering he has pure embalming fluid coarsing through his whithered veins. |
 HanoverF: "That damn bed of nails... what the fuck was I thinking?!" |
 E_B_A: "Hi! I'm Beck Hanson urging you to help me save Walden Pond... 'fore it's gone... gonna staple my nose to a magic wand..." |
 HanoverF: Bill kept his date in a small suitcase, under his refrigerator... needless to say he didn't have many friends |
 Mildred: This is where I store the cereal.. This is the cabinet that I store my mother in.. And this is the one I store the cold cuts in... |
 Hippie: If you have a mirror, you can de-code the Captioneers' secret message for what will help them through this show! |
 E_B_A: "None shall cross my bridge... until they have seen my one man show... badum badum ba-dummmmm!" |
 RoninM: Some of these Smashing Pumpkins videos don't make a whole lot of sense... |
 Angel_Noir: Note to self: clearly label shampoo and Kool Aid. |
 JediClone: No, no, no! You're doing the pregnacy test all wrong! |
 Darksky: Bodies bodies everywhere- where I'll stack them, they won't care! |
 TravisBickle: "Well, doctor? Is the disease fatal?" "Disease, hell! You've got bigger things to worry about. According to this, you're a fucking manatee!" |
 E_B_A: Ewan McGregor action figure now in stores! Action not included! |
 JediClone: Coming soon from The Cruel Joke Network... "Lost In Space II!" Don't say we didnt warn you! |
 JoeCrow: Hi hon... the microwave is fixed |
 JediClone: Low budget Borgs, tonight on what's left of UPN |
 E_B_A: "Hi! I'm Orson Wells for steak! Ya know! Tenderloin! Ribeye! Porterho- ack! My heart!" *THUD!* |
 KINGDINOSAUR: Unfortunately for Tinkerbell, automobile windshields don't believe in fairies. |
 JoeCrow: A woman who takes proffessional quality photos with a third eye on her chin! See her story in Sightings! See her name in the production credits! |
 DATALORE: "Cue stick? Real men use 50,000 volt wands you wussy!" |
 darkvortex: Jack walks into a strategically placed mennorah, only to be rendered sterile. |
 keogh: "Wipe yourself with her sheets. Steal some cab fare." |
 JoeCrow: Doesn't something in there kinda' negate the fact that it's space? |
 keogh: The irony of the American Medical Association's glaucoma website. |
 JediClone: Thanks to Carelton Sheets, I sold my house in just DAYS!... maybe some day I can afford to move into a new one and out of this boardwalk trashcan... |
 Beedo: "Mom?" "Shhhhh! Don't push me, 'cause I'm close to the edge, huh huh huh..." |
 E_B_A: "Look at THIS guys!" Just then, he realized he had confused his Viagra with those shrinky dinks. |