 E_B_A: "I find on occasion, that it's best to take a moment and enjoy the finer things in life... such as rubbing your face against pasta in a meat locker..." |
 Artanas: "...and remember, a mystery is never closed, to a foamy ham... goodnight trolls." |
 quickdraw: "...and using this giant model, we will show you at home how to make S'Mores!" |
 Artanas: "Ladle?" "Why thank you, Mister Roboto." |
 Klatuu: Suddenly, Luke Skywalker lops off Brandis's head with his lightsabre. |
 E_B_A: "No fair! She always gets all the insulin!" "She's diabetic you little punk!" "Yeah!? AND!?" |
 E_B_A: "As we can see boy, the Bible clearly states that we must bow down before Dick Van Patten for he is the messiah." "That doesn't sound-" "Hush! Insolence!" |
 AgentQ: "I tell ya, this Dave Thomas really goes all out when it's his daughter's birthday." |
 Jazzsoda: Commercial whale-transport technology has found new uses in the private sector, including fishing dead junkies out of your pool. |
 E_B_A: "So... care to join me for dinner?" "Pig!" "How about a stroll by the docks..." "Worm!" "Can I just stare luridly at your breasts?" "Scumbag!" "Staring it is!" |
 Beedo: As Ted Turner launches The Brandis Channel, nation-wide suicides increase drastically. |
 E_B_A: "Look! If you guys can't take turns playing with the frozen ribeyes then NOBODY GETS TO PLAY WITH THEM AT ALL!" |
 Brakster: "She's so beautiful! But how do you break the ice with a Circus Geek?" |
 KILROY105: Imagine a world where Jonathan Brandis wears a dress and kicks some butt... Welcome to Paradox: The Neverending Story |
 Klatuu: Brandis wanted to see if he COULD make horizontal icicles, that he didn't stop to think if he SHOULD. Or why? |
 GotMilk: Hey!! I'm pointing! Why isn't the "click" working? Damn Bill Gates |
 Brakster: Windows 95 Needlepoint kit. |
 Angel_Noir: The Unabombers Web site |
 Hippie: Order a "fuck you" from Hippie and be amazed at the quick response time. |
 E_B_A: Next on A&E: "Mating Rituals of the North American Afro." |
 Hippie: "I really enjoy your company Marge. You are a gr-- excuse me, my nipples are calling." |
 DrLarry: Damn, that is really expensive lettering! |
 E_B_A: "And Aslan taught me that self-sacrifice is vital to being a good person." "He taught me to eat raw meat." "That's nice sweetie." |
 cscott: While his horse counted to a hundred, Jeb looked for a good hiding place... |
 E_B_A: "Looks like a good harvest this year." "Yep." "Good load of calves come in." "Yep." "Billowing black cloud of death on the horizon." "Yep." |
 HanoverF: It looks like a tender moment at first, but if you look closely you'll see she's digging around in her purse! |
 E_B_A: "Hi... I'm Ronald Reagen and I'm the NWA." "NRA!" "But I have attitude!" "Ron!" "I wet 'em!" |
 cscott: :Damn, that lion got away. Well, I gotta shoot something... come here, Earl. Oh, don't be such a baby, I'll just wing you...: |
 E_B_A: "Care for some filet of coat?" |
 Jazzsoda: "It's good news! It says I'm pregnant!" Yet another clever ruse that failed to save their necks. |
 E_B_A: "Bachelor number three... ever dropped the soap?" "Well, by accident I might so-" "Shut up!" |
 E_B_A: "Look! Two rocks don't beat one paper!" "Maybe so but two fists can beat one curmudeony old fart!" "Point taken." |
 E_B_A: Chad took up welding just so he could change the pattern on his cell floor at night. |