 Laserblast: "See? Real blood. That means I'm not a changeling. You're next, Nancy." I DON'T GET IT! |
 Seltaeb: He'd use this gesture as an opportunity to brush up against her breasts, but he can't reach that low. |
 AgentQ: "Only four easy payments? Is that right, floating graphic? Oh, silly me, floating graphics can't talk. Hey! Let's cook some hamsters! I mean chicken!" |
 Hippie: Ron casually transforms his hand into a tray. He's made of liquid bullshit. |
 Seltaeb: It slices! It dices! It's also Greek currency! |
 E_B_A: "Why won't this blasted door open on this thing!?" "That's the box with a color photo of the cooker printed on it." "You're fired!" "Yes sir." |
 Laserblast: It's always a little creepy how Ron opens his infomercials with a guided tour through Ronco's Cosmetic Division Animal Testing Lab. |
 E_B_A: "Kittens pop easy with the 'Kitten-Popper' feature that can be set to... would you guys shut up and stop booing!" |
 Laserblast: Even though the "Ronco Human Organ Storage Unit" infomercial has been banned by Federal law, somehow Sci-Fi still gets away with showing it. Go figure. |
 Seltaeb: "Don't mind me while I stuff this bowling ball in the bag along with these dead kitties." |
 GuloGulo: As Laura mocks Dan's grotesquely overfilled colostomy bag, he takes out his knife and prepares to exact a foul revenge. |
 Artanas: Bob hides the evidence as Betty continues to circumsize her pet gnat. |
 E_B_A: "Gee Susy... pretend tea parties are fun but let's get some REAL action going with my pretend cocktail party! Woo hoo! Shaken with lime!" |
 HanoverF: "Hey, can't a man and his box get some privacy around here? Damn Inside Edition!" |
 Seltaeb: See guitars in hot three-way action. |
 EtheE: Yes, learn guitar in 30 minutes, get signed in an hour, go number one in the nation in an hour and a half, then die of a heroin overdose in two hours. That easy! |
 E_B_A: "Now although it's not really necessary to use the severed finger of a small child for a pick, I find they make the best- WHY ARE YOU BOOING ALL THE SUDDEN!?" |
 Occupant: Stan murdered his entire family with a large kitchen knife and now he's ready to learn guitar! |
 E_B_A: "Gee! You mean all I have to do is turn the little crank to play 'Mary Had A Little Lamb!?'" "Right!" "And can I play other songs?" "Well, no..." I DON'T GET IT! |
 Seltaeb: "Right Away" only consists of one note. |
 Hippie: Hi! I'm Mariah Carey! My shrill voice has deafened children everywhere. But there's no reason for YOU to turn a deaf ear to children in need... |