 E_B_A: Bill thought every square inch of his house was an opportunity to hang up some tools. He never married. |
 Artanas: "I gotta admit Burt, you 'are' the man!" "Why thank you!" "Not every man can get fellatio from mother Teresa." "True." |
 E_B_A: "Nope. You're not quite finished cooking..." |
 KINGDINOSAUR: You know you're too wealthy when you pee your name in the snow by way of dictation. |
 Seltaeb: "I must admit Bill, blowing smoke envelopes with that cigarette is pretty impressive." |
 Cerg: Jim was mortified when his copy of 'Jockstrapped' fell from out of the sofa cushions. |
 E_B_A: "Well, your references check out, just one last thing... should I hire this guy? *SHAKE* *SHAKE* 'Our sources say no.' Well, the Magic 8-Ball is in charge. Sorry." |
 Brakster: " I think I used too much White-Out on my Etch-A-Sketch." |
 Artanas: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fart in your presence *fart*, oooo, I'm such a bad *fart* bad boy." |
 HanoverF: "This Looks Like a Job For Superman!" "What did you say Clark?" "Oops! I seem to have been in such a hurry I forgot something... excuse me a moment." |
 Artanas: "Imagine if you will....taking some hashish.....growing smaaaaaallllllerrrrr....so smaaaaaaaaaaall..." |
 Artanas: "Mommy? Why do puppy necks break so easily?" |
 E_B_A: "Just as I suspected! And with my best curtains too!" "Honey, I can explain!" |
 Artanas: Next on The Adventures of Robbie The Chronically Masturbating Robot..."Does not compute *squirt squirt squirt* Need more input *rub rub rub*" |
 Occupant: Are you SURE you're really a door-to-door gynocologist? |
 E_B_A: "Cover me! I'm going to school!" |
 Seltaeb: Thankfully, yesterday's Martha Stewart program was all about corpse wrapping. |
 Shifter: "I like cassarole. I wonder how many kinds I can think of? Um... tuna... um... cheese... um... tuna -no, I said that already. Um... spam..." |
 TravisBickle: "I think she just wanted a nose job." "Are you sure? I could've sworn she said, 'Make me into a reptile you God of the medical profession.'" "Hmmm..." |
 E_B_A: "So what if your coat was one giant maze!? Mine is a big connect-the-dots!" I DON'T GET IT! |
 AgentQ: "I wanna thank you for the chess set!" "Yes, but Grampa, where are all the other pieces?" "Best chocolate ever!" "They weren't chocolate." "Oh? Oh." *dies* |
 Seltaeb: "This man needs milk, stat! Betty, if you will..." |
 Mr13: Alison always got Boffo laughs when she replaced Jimmy's Ridalin with chocolate covered expresso beans. |
 SensysNT: Hmmm, I wonder how my nipples would look with bowties? |
 E_B_A: "Well Harvey... Reverend Maplethorpe seems quite impressed by your beatbox skills but it's time to let me bust some fly b-boy moves." |
 Shifter: Joe's first and last performance as Hamlet on Broadway ended when he heard the Good Humor music... |
 E_B_A: David Lee Roth often pops into "Leave it to Beaver" to offer Ward helpful advice on raising the boys. |
 Seltaeb: Oh my God! Chair porn!! This is disgusting!!! |
 E_B_A: "But first, we'll electrocute some mascara brushes!" |
 Jazzsoda: Goddammit dad, they're just Green Eggs and Ham! There *is* no deeper meaning, and it's not a conspiracy! I don't know why he made them green! |